Difficulties of being too nice

Am I too nice, or do I not like conflict? I mean, some conflict I embrace. I think I hate conflict when I’m powerless. My job requires me to often be the messenger. While the messenger has no power of the message, they’re often the first to feel the wrath of bad news. I hate that. I find it easier to step forward when at fault and say, “That was me,” then I do delivering the message of, “It’s their fault.” Because that always becomes my fault.

That was convoluted.

Anyway, I’m playing a game where war is the point. I have my favorite toys that I poke relentlessly and take their stuff. It’s the point of the game. But then we talk, they don’t call my mom a cow, everything is friendly, and by the end, we’re okay with each other. I give advice and allow them to use my targets, though it doesn’t benefit me. I’m too nice.

So am I too nice? Or do I need to grow a spine? Hard questions on Tuesday morning. When I don’t want to be editing. I should definitely be editing.

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What is your why?

Read a book recently. What?! How could I?

Starting with Why.

The book is written by Simon Sinek. I found him accidentally on Facebook. For whatever reason, likely his why, I was enthralled. He spoke about leaders getting the last word. Sit there, listen to others, and when everyone has spoken, the leader is to say what happens next, with thought and consideration to what everyone else had said. This is a little novel to me as my boss (dad) almost always starts with his thoughts then asks others.

This led me to speak with a very intelligent friend, Devani, because she knows things. While I was now aware of the rabbit hole, she pointed me towards it, showing me other videos and books.

Starting with Why talks about three steps of doing our work. What is what we do, and everyone knows it. Using me as an example, I sell restaurant equipment. Then there is how, and that is how you do it. A few people know this, and they end up successful in their own right, but never truly revolutionary.

The why has a dream. They have a vision. They change the world. They make people believe, and those believers create loyalty. In a world that’s becoming increasingly mercenary, that would be an incredible feat.

I found my why. I love working with kids, I love facilitating learning, and I love showing them the different exciting and difficult things they will face when older. I only got out of teaching because parents are insane at how much they’re enabling their kids to be brats, as well as the requirements a kid needs to fulfill at school or sports to find acceptance.

This is likely what led me to want to get involved so deeply with Pokemon. I want to teach kids how to play, how to read, how to do some basic math.

Now I want to aim it at writing, getting kids interested in writing, and showing them what it is to get published. Right now, even at the college level, we teach what it is to write. We don’t teach what it is to publish, which I think is a weakness.

At work, I’m going to look into helping high school students who desire to be chefs get more experience of what that means, including cooking meals for charity events and learning with our personal chef. While that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re selling equipment, it gives us a why, and it sets us apart from everyone else who does the same thing. We would stand for something other than profit. And don’t get me wrong, we do help customers to achieve their dreams of setting up a restaurant. But so does everyone else we compete with.

Simon inspired me enough that when I finished reading, I gave it to my dad so hopefully it would inspire him. That’s Simon’s why: inspire. And I believe in his why.

The Trials of Writing

Writing is a multitasking sport and I’m failing hard on it. Why, you ask? Because here is my massively neglected blog. My other blog, tied implicitly to my novels, is just as neglected. This needs to change.

I’ve been doing a great job of waking up at 5:30am and writing. The issue is it gets locked into editing the novel instead of passing over here to get working on the project. In the evening I just don’t care. I play video games. I need to care more. It would be better for my pocket book as well as my progress and the creation of a fan base. It’s just really hard work.

Travel hurts this as well. I’m currently on my parent’s computer. Their keyboard feels clunky to type on, so it frustrates me, and I quit. It’s a horrible thing.

So, starting tomorrow, I will be updating the Volden site. I will be appearing more regularly on here, and I will have a really awesome map when I can figure out how to get links up on it. All wins.

Hope you’re all doing well, hope your writing/reading is going well, and have an awesome Father’s Day!

Pokemon Sun and Moon Demo

The demo came out today. I’ve been waiting for it as they show more and more of the features. It looked like a living world that wasn’t just battles and a few side missions like coordinating. Instead of battling to the equivalent of a gym battle, you have to take photos of rare Pokemon hiding all over the cave. When you get past a certain point, you can do a Pokemon catching competition. There will be a contest to see how many millions of Pokemon players can catch shortly after release. This is incredible.

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So I started playing the demo. It’s really limited. You start as a boy named Sun. You get an epic geninja, which I can’t wait to use in the game. You also get to see the first trial. From what I can tell there aren’t any gyms. It’s all trials. Each one seems a unique challenge.

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So I’m excited for the new game. It’s one month away, and I will likely play the demo a lot. A friend asked me today why I liked Pokemon. What made me so giddy about it. I love going out to adventure. In my head I’m not simply running around with some pixelated animals in balls. I’m talking to them, like a writer talks to their characters. I coach them. I think about what it would be like in that world, walking alongside them, going through challenges.

So one month. I just need to wait one more month.

Men’s Retreat and Addiction

I’m Christian. I try to be fairly vocal about it. I do know I’m still a sinner.

This weekend I’m helping with a men’s retreat. I spent today literally bearing a cross (onto a truck), along with numerous beams, boxes, and bins. I love alliteration.

As I’m ready for this exhausting weekend, I’m already nearly tapped. On top of that, next weekend I leave for Guatemala. Just ordered our craft projects. Should be fun.

The weekend after we get back from Guatemala I’m doing something I meant to do a long time ago. I firmly believe that if you see something and you feel called to it, and it’s meant to happen, eventually God gets tired of waiting and puts it in front of you. If you keep ignoring it, eventually you get swallowed by a fish the size of whales to stew for three days.

Christmas two years ago there was an addiction center that was looking for donations. I didn’t have the money as the holidays are horrible for my paycheck. However, I have time I can give, and I asked if they were also looking for volunteers. The guy said of course. I never went. I am a wretched sinner, but God is a loving God.

So today, mindlessly skimming Facebook because that is all the energy I have, I saw our church is having a football party at the addiction facility. The idea is to reach out to these individuals and eventually form relationships over several visits. Chances are they have few friends who understand their desire to get clean, so we want to give them a better foundation. Or something.

I apologize for how horribly written this post is. I’m going to eat dinner now. I’m half dead. Nap time. Peace!

Goodbye Facebook

I disabled Facebook Saturday. Ultimately I only did it to avoid the hatred that seems so prevalent currently. It was heartbreaking, there is no middle ground, and neither side can see the other. Why was I doing that to myself? Why was I inviting all that negativity into my life?

Then I had a life quote come back about surrounding myself with positive people. Yet I was not living that. The bigger issue was I didn’t want to unfriend all these people. Some of these individuals are quite dear to me, and I understand the social fallout which is linked with the severing of such ties.

So I disabled my Facebook account, and those who are still in touch with me are those I care about. I was told I should be able to use Messenger, but that failed. Fine. More texting and Google Hangout it is. However, the people I really want to be in touch with, I am.

This did cause one expected fault. Most of my online personas are tied to my Facebook account. My account isn’t there anymore. I can get through that.

The biggest uptick to leaving Facebook was unexpected. I’m blogging more. I’m writing more. I’m simply feeling better. It’s been about two days, and I’m much more productive. I didn’t realize how much time Facebook sucked out of me.

I did plan on returning to Facebook after the election, though the hate goes far beyond the election and likely won’t abate until after. If nothing else, my Facebook account may get a deep cleaning and I use it only for my writing and my other log ins.

On the otherhand, it’s really nice being productive.

Have you ever cut off Facebook? How did it go?

Whole30 Take 2

It all started about three weeks ago. A friend asked if I was interested in doing Tough Mudder in Chicago next year. It’s in August. Truthfully it’s in Rockford, but it just has to be within two hours. The Milwaukee one when I went was in Oshkosh. I agreed because I’m fat and I want to not be fat.

Then my sister-in-law asked me if I wanted to do Whole30, because she was going to do Whole30. I’ve done it before. I visited her a couple times while in the midst of it and she made delicious dishes based on it. It was amazing. So I agreed.

On top of that, this weekend I moved in with my parents. I still have my apartment, but the mold is to the point I cannot stand it. So I will be figuring out how to get out of my rent. Why is this important? The exquisite gym I’m a member at is 10 minutes down the road.

I have the end goal of Tough Mudder, the dietary aide of Whole30, and the workout equipment to get ripped. I am excited for this. However today is day one of Whole30.

What does that mean? That means I’m going to be ornery in a couple days. That will continue for about two weeks. I will want to devour all things that are in front of me. And after two weeks? I will be quite excited and happy. I will have energy. I will be working out.

I’m glad that I’m getting a routine going. I’m glad I’m taking better care of my body and making positive routines. It’ll be good.

I hope you’re achieving your goals and your health is good!