Never Forget

So this song came out and just pulled on me. I mean, who wouldn’t it pull on?

Who hasn’t had that one lover that was a best friend, everything in the world, and then they walked out? I mean walked out is a general term of something happened. And then they were gone and there was a massive hole where the heart was. But as the Script says, a heart never breaks even.

I love this song, though. It’s really amazing. When I first heard it, I definitely expected a different music video. The imaginary friend just added something really beautiful to it, even though she’s definitely not talking about an imaginary friend. They can’t walk out the door.

Check out Zara Larsson’s other stuff. She’s talented. So is MNEK, but I confess I haven’t looked up his music. He just definitely has a good voice.

You will always be by my side.


First Step

I woke up at 5:45 this morning, just like the previous morning. I actually woke up at 5:38 because my body already likes this new schedule. Stupid body.

As I laid on my couch, because I left the sheets to my bed at my parents’ house, I thought, “I can go back to bed. I really don’t need to be up until 7.”

It’s easy to give up. It’s easy to not show up for your battles. The world isn’t making you face most of them. The world is perfectly content with me sleeping in, eating crap food, leaving my apartment dirty, not finishing my novel, if my faith dwindles. Whatever your struggles are, they’re content with you giving up, too. Not showing up to a kid’s game. Not getting flowers for a loved one. Not trying for a better job. Not getting the degree you actually wanted. Not trying for your dreams because you have so much already on your plate.

There’s a song that makes me cry every time I hear it. Not full out cry, but the tears form. I can visualize a thousand scenes through it. The scenes are so clear because I understand, and we all understand. We understand the struggle of taking that first step, of continuing to fight through mockery, unwanted burdens, poor decisions from ourselves and others, obligations, and hundreds of others. I hope you enjoy the song. I hope you take that first step. Tomorrow morning, at 5:45, I’ll be taking my third. You can do it, too.

Babymetal: Things that change your life

I went to see my brother this weekend, and drove with a friend. We were talking for a little while when he asked, “Have you heard of bubblegum metal?” You’ll see how we reach this title.

“No.” I was laughing, the name alone was hilarious.

“It’s a bunch of little Japanese girls singing to heavy metal. You’ve never heard of it?”

There’s a reason he believed I’d understand this. I was a heavy Asian-phile. It wasn’t Japanese, Chinese, or anything specific, but all things Asian. Sure, manga and anime were the big ones, but when it came to women I find basically all Asian women gorgeous, and I love all their cultures. However, that was primarily college, and I’ve been phasing out of it, aside from the occasional anime. So I responded, “No. I haven’t been into the Asian scene really.”

“Shoot man. Hold on.” I was driving as he was looking around on his phone. We had a lengthy discussion about usage and how much a YouTube video actually ate up of data, and finally he caved and showed me.

It changed my life. I’m no longer the same person. When I found out Babymetal existed, the very physics of the world turned on its head. I love that it has the campiness of a Japanese children’s show, with the awesome of metal.

Hope you enjoy. I hope I have also altered your life through the power of Babymetal.


A little based on this song. A sequel to this story. I was debating if a sequel would happen, but it’s Christmas morning, and apparently a sequel is the right way to go. I hope you enjoy it as much as I really enjoy writing these stories. And I’m really in a good mood. So this is a lot more upbeat than Cords.

“Lets go. Tyler, get in the back.” Clay jumped in the driver side and the other two piled in the other side.

“Damn it, I’m the oldest. I should drive.” Tyler crawled over the edge of the truck bed, stepping around sound equipment and instruments.

“If you whine like a bitch, we’re never letting you drive. Act like a little girl.” Bryce knocked the window when he spoke.

“Whatever,” he muttered, then held onto the top of the truck. There wasn’t space for him to sit as the wheels spun in the dirt in front of the farm house.

The sun was setting, the sky golden. Inside the three teenagers talked and shoved each other, the truck swaying back and forth. Tyler held onto the top with all he had, one foot behind the other to give him stability. His button up shirt fluttered in the wind, revealing his well used white shirt, which was starting to fall apart at the collar. It was hard for him not to smile. Things were just going to damned well.

When they entered town, there were a few people out and about. Most the cars would be parked in front of the bar. The majority of those would be friends, with the sprinkled in regulars drinking away issues and avoiding home. That was fine. Tyler didn’t need to do that, not anymore.

Then he saw Claire on the side of the road. He pounded the top of the truck, “Clay, stop.”

“What for?”

“Stop being a prick, dude. Stop the truck.” They pulled over to the side of the road. “Claire!” She was with a friend. “Claire!”

Her clothes was so different. It was fashionable. A purse hung on her arm. She became stranger and stranger to him. When she saw him, she scowled, “What do you want?”

“I’m on fire.” He reached out. “We’re going to perform. Get in.”

She bit her lip and looked at her friend, then back at Tyler. “I can’t. Not yet.”

“Please Claire. Get in. Burn on fire with me and we’ll burn this place down.” He leaned over the edge, smiling wide enough to show his awkward teeth. It wasn’t horrible, but there was a gap between his canine and molar.

“I can’t, Tyler. I’m sorry. Come back for me, just not now.”

He didn’t stop smiling, though the twinkle in his eye died a little. “I can’t wait. If you can catch up, I’ll be waiting. Otherwise, I guess goodbye.” He slammed the top of the truck and wheels squealed across asphalt as they took off towards the bar where they had landed their first gig.


Have stories that speak to you? Was taking a late night shower to clear my mind, and this just started writing itself, every moment in the shower adding to the detail. I don’t know if I’ve ever had a story write itself this literally. By the time the shower was done, all I had to do was type, do some refining, and here it is. Life and FLCL inspired this. And 777 words? Awesome. Oh, and click the link. It’s what I imagine Tyler playing and the band’s overall sound. Since, you know, it’s from the OST of FLCL. Enjoy!

“Do they ask about you?”


Tyler pulled out a toothpick and put it between his teeth, gnawing on it. “Those friends. Do they ask about you?”

“No.” Claire scowled. “Is this one of your games?”

“Do you tell them about yourself?”

“Answer my question, first, Ty.”

“I always answer first.” The words were grumbled and he scrunched his nose. “So they know nothing about you.” He shook his head, shaggy brown hair rustling. “So they aren’t friends.”

“What? They are, too.”

“You act like a kid.” The words came out more vehemently than he wished, and he bit his lip, closing his mouth around the end of the toothpick. He kicked the dirt, swishing his toe and heel back and forth through it. “If they don’t know anything ’bout you, then they aren’t friends. Just people you know about.” His voice was quiet. It was supposed to sound gentle, he wanted so badly to be gentle with her, but inside he quivered.

“So what are you saying?” The look on her face was familiar, the way it trembled and the eyes narrowed: She was going to cry. “Are you saying you’re my friend? Are you saying you know me?”

Tyler stopped kicking and looked up at her. The black hair was straightened. She rarely straightened it for Ty, but now she straightened it every day. He clenched his fist. “I’ve always known you.”

There was a truck near by and he walked to it, jumping into the back. His carpenter pants scraped along the rust spots. The frays on the bottom of his left pant leg got caught for a bit, but he jerked hard and was able to get his back against the cab.

“Tyler, what the hell does that mean?!”

Now she was crying, words nearly feral. He pulled the toothpick from his lips and flung it over the side of the truck bed. She was the only girl he hated making cry. She was the only one cuter when she smiled.

“Damn it,” he muttered.

“What was that?” The sobs shook her shoulders, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Don’t you dare drive away, don’t you….”

He looked up at her, his blue eyes making her pause, aside from the sobbing. He hit the cab twice and the guys in the front gave a hoot, then started to drive off, wheels spinning in the dirt before gaining traction and taking off. “I love you,” he mouthed, but she was looking down.

Twenty minutes later, the truck stopped in front of a country home, three stories with a large fence. Cows and corn were in the distance. The boys got out, three from the cab and Tyler in the back, and headed to the garage.

The door was open and inside were instruments. Tyler was the first to the garage as the other boys pushed each other, laughing and talking. One of the boys, Clay, shouted, “What’s got you down? She yankin’ on ya again?”

“Whatever. I don’t know what this shit is.” He picked up his guitar and slung it over his shoulder before he pulled a pick out from his pocket. It was chipped. He placed it in his mouth, then retrieved another one.

Bryce snickered, picking his teeth with his tongue. “Is that her pic?”

“Fuck you,” he snarled as best he could, keeping the pick between his teeth. Fingers moved over the thick strings, bringing the amp to life. The gritty sound vibrated through the garage, through Tyler’s bones. It made his hair stand on edge and his heart explode with every cord.

Will, the third boy, picked up a guitar. “Faggot’s on a leash.” He started a riff, but nothing that could overpower Tyler’s angst.

“Stop being such a pain in the ass.” Tyler shouted between freshly strummed emotions, snorting a little with laughter. He looked up, blue eyes just visible under scruffy hair. “Get it?”

Clay was still picking at something in his teeth with his tongue, but he grinned when he picked up the drum sticks and took a seat. “Ladies, be sensitive. There are people out there who would consider that impolite.” They all laughed, warming up on their instruments, giving everything they had to give their souls embodiment through sound. All four boys were panting after a few minutes of dissonance, grinning and giggling.

Clay spoke up, “But seriously, Thomas will be here soon and I’d rather not piss him off. So knock off the slurs.” He hit the sticks together four times, and the music blasted out of the garage, gritty, fierce, but in its own way harmonious. And Tyler forgot everything in that moment.

Use Your Gifts

You have to watch this video. Made me tear up a little. I wish I could embed it, but it’s saying the site doesn’t exist.

In general I adore Lindsey Stirling. I’m not a huge fan of her music videos, but she’s immensely talented and does some amazing remixes of video game music. Another thing I admire is her music videos are fun. She really goes all out and doesn’t hold back. It shows. We should all be that passionate about something.

Anyway, the real emphasis here is Kuha’o. There’s a kid with amazing talent, despite a heavy set back, and he doesn’t give a flying hoot what others think. Again, what if more of us were this honest with ourselves?

I have a friend right now. She has a lot of set backs, but she strives forward to get a gainful job, actually her dream job. Every time she makes progress, something drags her down. But she keeps fighting to do what she loves. So fight for you passion, and if you need to find passion, make it exist. But love with all you have and show the world your talents. They’re numerous and God didn’t give you them to be buried.

Blessings on you and your holiday. May your gifts bring fulfillment to those around you and to yourself.


Must See Movies of the Season!

I haven’t seen a movie in a good long while. They just haven’t interested me, or by the time I realize they’re in theaters, it’s because of an announcement of the bluray release. However, this time of year I get immensely festive. Not even Christmas. There are a lot of great seasonal movies right now!

Tonight I’m fairly sure I’ll be watching The Nightmare Before Christmas. It’s time to reacquaint myself with the Pumpkin King. Currently listening to the Manson remix. Love the remix CD for it. After that I’ll sing “What’s This?” I love singing that song. So much. If you need a great, seasonal movie, watch it. Since Christmas has now overtaken Halloween, it’s always good to remember when Halloween nearly overtook Christmas. To say the least, despite my mom’s love of Santa, my view of Christmas is altered. A little.

November fifth! Remember, remember, the fifth of November. I’ll be watching V for Vendetta. You’ve never seen it?! This is tragic. All should remember the fifth of November, gunpowder treason and plot. I very much so believe I shall watch that while working on my novel for Nano. Maybe have a shindig where I’m really boring, but soaking in the revolutionary vibe of those around me.

I’ve also been heavily getting into music. “Short Change Hero” is an incredible song by an amazing UK band, The Heavy. It’s the introduction for Borderlands 2 and was pretty much the reason I bought the game. Unfortunately the game didn’t hold my interest. I think I’m a level 10. However, it is inspired as far as characters, I just don’t enjoy that style of game. I love Moxxi. I’m going to marry her. Along with a dozen other women. We’ll see which one wins, but my money’s on Moxxi. She’s crazy. I hope you’re listening to the song. It’s incredible. But I love you like the way I love you and I suffer, but I ain’t ganna cut you cuz this ain’t no place for no hero. This ain’t no place for no better man. Love it.

November and December become a wasteland after that. Nano will be in full swing, and there really isn’t anything until Winter Solstice. Then I run around naked through the snow and corn fields under the full moon, howling and pounding my chest. Just kidding, ladies, don’t get too excited. Or terrified. I’ll be honest, I’m sure that was the scariest thing you’ve heard this Halloween. But I do enjoy celebrating Winter Solstice. Will likely have a pre-Christmas party on it (I do celebrate Christmas as well, as I’m Christian, but my celebration of Solstice has a strange history I greatly embrace, and there was never nudity involved).

What are your movies and celebrations this time of year? Do you have any strange traditions you absolutely love and could never give up? Let me know what they are! Would love to hear them.