Done Online Dating

It’s been a good run. My subscription runs out in February, but I think I’m finished.

I’ve met strange and cool people. I was able to meet a brilliant writer who wanted to start a farm. There were numerous teachers (I love teachers). Several mothers with children who generally didn’t like my response to children because once we got into that, that’s when they stopped talking to me. One did ask me for a quote, we were good about her daughter, but then I quoted Tyrion when he spoke to Jon Snow on donning his bastard status as armor. Then she stopped talking to me. I think my lack of tact is sometimes my charm.

There was a 19 year old who was a scary stalker lady, but rationalizes it. I had never met an individual like this. It was charming and inspiring for story ideas. And scary. I was asked what I’ve done that’s adventuresome in the past year, and it really made me reflect. If I were asked that question again, I have an incredible list of things. Speaking of, I really need to post my Guatemala notes with pictures. Finally got those pictures.

Back on focus. I’ve met two amazing women that I’d have married in a heartbeat, but they shot me down. At the very least it reminded me that I don’t want to make stupid mistakes because women like that generally don’t marry guys who go out and have a really stupid week or two in their past, let alone a few months. So it did keep me from making some poor decisions.

I’m not going to say it was a total wash. I learned a lot about myself, I was given a good measure of where I am in life, and I feel like I’ve grown as a person for having met all these individuals. I learned that I’m not going to meet the one online and I shouldn’t just date someone I’m not passionate about to have someone. I mean, sure they could become good friends, but marriage would be lacking.

Yesterday I had my greatest realization: I bring comfort to people. When I’m dating I withdrawal from most of my friends, or at the very least this service is saved for the woman I’m with. I feel that’s only fair. It’s not 100% saved for her, but it’s definitely tempered. So though there was a nice teacher lady I was talking to, and there were a few promising prospects, I’m done. I’ve met a lot of cool people through NaNo, and there’s no pressure to take them on dates. I can just be friends, and I think that’s all I want.

So good bye eHarmony. It’s been interesting. Keep it classy.

What have your online dating experiences been? Do you avoid or like it? Did you find your soul mate through it?

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9 responses to “Done Online Dating

  1. I joined a free dating site years ago. Met a couple of guys who became friends for a while, but that was it. With my situation at home, with my kids, I never really expect to find anyone. Who would want to take it all on, after all?
    Glad you had a good experience. Sometimes it’s better for these things to just happen organically though. At least I think so.

  2. I have joined several sites over the years. I did make a couple of short term friendships, had a couple freaky/stalker type people to deal with…but luckily nothing too frightening ever happened, dealt with a lot of men who only wanted to have sex…thankful for their honesty, but yeah, was definitely put off from that, and so on. Nothing serious or long lasting ever came from it, though I too met a lot of interesting and intriguing people. I also learned a lot about myself and what I wanted. While nothing panned out for me via those sites, I don’t regret my time spent on them. I eventually met someone through mutual friends and in time through friendship and spending time away from our group, our romance bloomed. He’d tried sites too and we both agree that we’re happier the way things turned out. It works for some, but not all.

      • Yeah, I heard some very scary stories and am grateful mine were tame in comparison. I am glad too that I finally found someone for me, it didn’t happen because of any of the dating sites I tried, but like I said…not upset about that. I know some who have tried them and had much success. In fact, my friend was on eHarmony and for awhile, she was discouraged…but her last match turned out to be the one for her. She’s now married, they have a little family of their own now, and she’s living in England. I am happy for her. I truly believe love can find us just about anywhere. It is different for us all. 🙂

  3. That’s great that you took precious lessons away. Your ability to bring comfort to others will be one of your greatest assets as a spouse — as well as a source of grief. Our strength is our weakness.

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