Aside: I figured out links. I sort of did an experimental writing piece where I abuse the crap out of them. I’m sorry.
I suppose as writers we’re supposed to think this. We have to think this. If we write something, look at it and go, “What was I thinking?” who in their right mind would buy that book? Then again, don’t we all think that? When we do that first edit, aren’t we curling up into a ball, praying that God will strike our work down, or better yet edit it for us?
When I first announced my intent to publish, the individual I went to for everything told me to publish Kelst and Ayne. I believe I’ve stated this elsewhere, but I didn’t want to publish it because I wanted it to be perfect. I know I’m young, there are errors, I haven’t been reading enough to really have a perfect form, etc. I had also started editing it in the hopes of bringing it to life. As soon as I started I went, “No, this is crap. I can’t.” She was upset by this, but still supportive, and I moved on to Melna and Hurskfjell. I’ve been writing a much better first draft for Melna than I did Kelst and Ayne, and I just felt rejuvenated. I really enjoyed writing about her travels.
However, life happened. Suddenly I was in talks with Abbott Press, and instead of wanting to get published in a few months, I wanted to get published right now. So Kelst and Ayne took front stage. I’ve been editing like mad, I think I’m on par, but I know the story gets immensely complicated now and I have to keep track of everything. I bought this storybook software, but I don’t use it. Some day…. It really is incredible, I just need to put the effort into it instead of just jotting random notes in notebooks and word documents.
I think about two weeks ago I signed off on the contract to get published. I’m currently a little over halfway through the editing. The beginning is slow. The Good Earth is my influence for the first part. We’re talking about two farmers in a fantasy world trying to survive. In part, I really wanted to try my hand at man vs environment, as it’s a conflict I rarely use. In fact, it might be the only time I’ve ever used it. I skip years here and there, when things are comfortable. I may have one really bad deus ex machina moment. I’m not proud about it, but it serves a purpose. However, as I reach the mid point of the book, as I watch everything take shape for the final conflict, this book is amazing. It won’t likely be winning awards, but it’s still well crafted. It still tells an incredible tale that I never even realized. There was a lot I added just due to circumstances and how real life stories played out, and it created a much more realistic tension (I hope).
Mostly what I’m saying is it’s nice to be editing, and going through the story, thinking, “This is brilliant.” Do others have this? That the first run through they feel good, but they edit and it’s a little disheartening? But then the more they read, the more it’s obvious there is an incredible story in front of them. Or maybe a lot of you already have that confidence going into it.