Team Yennifer > Team Triss

First Note: This is a massive Witcher spoiler. Like anything and everything for the franchise.

Second Note: I can’t believe I’m doing this. Here’s looking at you, Mac. (You can find the Team Triss opinion at his website at this link)

Third Note: Mac’s post has more about the setting. I just kind of dove in.

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Today I present to you how Gerifer is the ultimate ship in the Witcher franchise. (Totally went there)

Is it Yennifer’s onyx hair which glistens like silk under the torchlight? Her porcelain skin which shimmers? What a delightful illusion Yennifer conjures with her sorceress skills, that could take a hunchback and create such a tantalizing creature?

While I argue that Yennifer is the better beauty of the two, let’s not stop our gaze with such base assets!

Geralt of Riva, the brutish stoic of a Witcher, is quiet and intense in most cases. He is burdened by the decisions he makes. His heavy soul can easily overpower the playful or light of heart.

Enter Yen. When they first met, Yen was hunting a djinn. Using numerous elves and humans, she was able to obtain her object of desire. Strong willed, she pushed all others aside so she alone could claim the bounty! So moved by her beauty of character was Geralt that when the djinn would certainly kill her, he wished for them to be tied by fate for all eternity. What a romantic! But for any other woman, Geralt has been notorious for brief beddings!

There are times where Geralt’s heart is weak, weighted by the millstone of morality and duty. When hunting his adopted daughter, Ciri, he had to destroy a holy tree to perform a ritual which would gain him information. However, the tree being holy and cared for by people he respected, he could not bring himself to do it. Yen took on the burden. She stripped that tree of magical energy in two seconds, knowing it would bring Geralt closer to a girl he saw as a daughter.

But there is more! When the caretakers of the tree approached, shunning Geralt and Yen from the island, Yen took all the blame that Geralt could keep in their good graces. What kindness, despite such a cold exterior.

My friends, Yennifer is not only beautiful, but prudent and strong willed. She knows what Geralt needs and will obtain it though he cannot dare to reach for his goal. Geralt is the moral anchor that reminds Yennifer sometimes the ability to do something isn’t the reason to do it.

So I argue, the true romantic ship of The Witcher, is Gerifer!

 

 

The Mosquito Stratagem

This is a fan fiction based off a game I’m currently playing. The game is Blight of the Immortals. Good fun.

“Sir, it looks like they’re going north. To the Thicket.”

Frog growled, itching his jawls as the trolls marched before him. He let out a heavy sigh and those around him could feel it quake. “Ogre spit.” He picked a piece of pork from his tooth and placed it so he could gnaw more.

“Should we pursue?” Gullet pointed to the burning goblin settlement of Coldbeep. All they would have to do is follow the road there, then go off into the wilderness. They would catch the immortal King of Coins.

The King had been a thorn for the beginning of the campaign. Somehow he was able to grasp every bit of coin within a hundred leagues, and it left the trolls broke. With him sitting in Coldbeep, they had a quick shot at him. He was on the front lines. Retreating to the Thicket meant he was hiding behind the undead army he helped put in place.

“There were goblin bowmen in the Tangle, weren’t there?”

Gullet snorted. “Are we running with our tails between our legs?”

“We have no money?”

“Correct,” he growled.

“There’s an army waiting for us. We’re intimidating, yes?”

Gullet straightened as well as he could under the ton of heft, then beat his chest. His sagging green flesh wobbled, then stilled. “We are damned intimidating, sir.”

“We’ll go get those archers.”

“But we can handle this on our own. We’re more than enough for the thief.”

“We need to conserve until we can get the immortals under control. We will reach Coldbeep, burn the corpses left behind, then enlist those archers, and the King of Coin will die in a volley of arrows.”

“But that’s not the troll way!” He stomped in the fields like a small child, beating his chest. Others rallied with him.

“The troll way worked when we fought men, elves, and dwarves. When we could put them over a spit when we were done and eat them. It worked when our fallen did not get back up. It worked when goblins gnawing at us meant nothing. Now they gnaw us to the bone in seconds.” He slammed a club down and the crowd silenced. “We will again eat man and elf, but it will not be today. It may not be in our life time. But our children will know man flesh, yet they will only know it if we swallow our pride to defeat the blight in front of us.”

Frog snarled as he paced a few moments. “It is the troll way to kill Gullet for insurrection. However, every troll here is needed. Every troll here can succumb to the immortals. And when the immortals get him, maybe not today, maybe not this week, but when they do get him, I will take incredible pleasure in removing his head.”

Gullet skulked off into the crowd, understanding he no longer held honors with Frog. Then Frog said, “We continue to Coldbeep. We then retreat to the Tangle for the archers. I want the King of Coin dead by tomorrow night.”

Depression

It starts little. It’s difficult to go to work because of anxiety attacks and a feeling that you’ve accomplished nothing. It’s your friends disappearing because you moved away and they’re married. It’s having a hard time meeting new people because most of your social energy is spent meeting a dozen new people a day for work and meeting more new people optionally is an exhausting prospect.

You drag more through the day. You feel sick all the time. You stay up late in the hopes it will postpone tomorrow, only to be more worn down the next day. You are okay with the idea that your life could end, but you don’t actively pursue it.

There is something in your life you hold onto. When you’re really feeling down, you think of that one light, that hope that keeps your heart beating. You think, “If I died, this would be bad.” Oh how you hang onto it. Every time you think, “Maybe today I could die,” you think of it with everything you have and it walks you off that cliff.

But the spiral doesn’t stop. You find it hard to do anything. Work gets attention, but not what it did. Fatigue is constantly on your doorstep. It’s not that you want to sleep, it’s that your mind just doesn’t want to do anything. Your hobbies stop. You stop even trying to reach out to friends. What’s the point? As soon as you can you’re in pajamas, staring at a screen, wishing it would end.

Now and then you get a burst. For a few hours there’s a bright light and you start to get caught up on dishes, cleaning, maybe a hobby. As time goes, these bursts are shorter and shorter, and you stop taking them as a sign that you’re almost out of the slump. There’s a realization the slump is never ending.

Then the one thing you held onto, that one light of hope, vanishes. It’s still available, it’s just when you call on it nothing happens. The light is meaningless and you rationalize away why it’s inconsequential. There is nothing keeping you from the thought that dying is okay. It becomes your hobby.

You think what it’s like for someone else to do it. Walk through a dark alley, have someone put a gun to your head, and they pull the trigger. You think of your own demise. How to do it. The ramifications. You are sitting on a chair with your family, laughing and joking, and in your head you are thinking of a dozen ways to end your life and you’re laughing because if you actually tried to speak at that moment, you would break down in tears, and when everyone goes to dinner, you stall a moment, sitting in that chair when everyone’s gone, and composing yourself so you can have conversation.

And you’re waiting. You realize there is a time bomb in your head that could go off at any time, and at some point it’s going to say, “It’s time.” As you desperately try to claw your way out of the spiral of depression.

Despite this, you don’t want to reach out. You don’t want anyone to know. If you do, they’ll think you’re just looking for attention. Surely, even though nearly every creative fiber is spent on how to die, surely you are exaggerating. Surely you won’t actually go over the cliff. But you know. As soon as the thoughts are pervasive, you know it’s only a matter of time unless you make drastic changes.

It’s only a matter of time until you cannot walk down from that ledge.

And you smile and joke in public.

But it’s only a matter of time until all those creative thoughts turn into action.

Praying that your battle with depression is going better than mine. I’m setting up appointments this week to seek help, and if you’re on that ledge, you should to. And if you just need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to me. I’d be more than willing to listen.

Video game kid leagues

I’m playing a game called Paragon. It’s really awesome. I’m actually decent at it, which surprises me because I’m rarely good at competitive games. They make me nervous, jumpy, and angry. This is my score. It’s actually suffering massively today, and it’s the reason I’m writing this article. Yesterday I was the top 15% in the world.

Paragon is known as a MOBA. I’m not sure what it stands for. Ultimately there are two teams. Each team has a core and your goal is to blow up their core. There are three lanes which lead to the core, each lane with three turrets per team you need to blast through. Between the lanes is a jungle, which is a harsh and mysterious maze meant to kill you if you don’t know what you’re doing.

There are five people on each team. A very basic strategy is to have two people in the left and right lane, one in the center, and then people can easily reach the center if the need arises.

Another strategy is to have two in the center, one in the right and left, and a jungler. A jungler is a bit like Bane. “You merely adopted the jungle. I was born in it, molded by it.” The idea is the jungler, he whom was molded by the jungle, can jump into the left or right when required (doing what is called ganking), and one of the centers can easily shift over as well. This is my preferred strategy.

Finally, the reason I am writing this article. There is a pervasive strategy known as little league soccer strategy. It is the bane of team sports.

Those of you who remember your little league soccer days or have kids, you know what I’m talking about. It’s the thought of every ten year old on that field. It is the driving force of the game, strategy be damned (because as much as America might make fun of soccer, it is a very strategic game compared to baseball or football).

“THE BALL! GET THE BALL! HE HAS THE BALL AND WE SHALL ALL CROWD HIM FOR THE BALL! ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY BALL!”

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In case you forgot

You know this. Passing is two feet away because you’re teammates are all there. A steal doesn’t really net much because you need to get through a wall of midgets. Honestly, you’re all just going to trip over each other and end up covered in dirt and with hypothermia. This may have nearly happened to me. I don’t know why we do soccer before the age of 12.

This gets frustrating. My ability in the game with my primary is that I can teleport on people. This makes it very easy for me to swoop in and help escape or win the day in brief soirees. The unfortunate part is when we aren’t spread out and doing what we’re supposed to, there’s no point in me jumping into a meat grinder of a team that is playing smart, compared to our little league team.

Ultimately, I just reach a point where I try to mitigate damage and I stay back. Because I dislike dying at the hands of my teammates.

Isn’t this our strategy in life, too, though? Just run at it. Chase it down. Jump in with everyone else, without stepping back to make sure that’s where you’re supposed to be, or even want to be.

What’s a time in life where it felt like everyone was running in like a small child, and you had to step back and watch in horror?

Why I ditched my credit card

“You missed a payment of $25 because you thought you paid the card off! This month you owe us $52!” The balance last month was $26 and they doubled it. I knew I should have called to close out last month.

I’ve paid down two credit cards. They are so gone. I have one more to go. However, due to travel and needing them if I rent a car, I may end up leaving it in a drawer to call upon when certain strictures of our society demand a credit card. Otherwise? I’m sort of done with credit and loans. My life was insanely simpler three years ago when I did not have a credit card.

Depression is my motivation

I sit here Saturday night, exhausted but hopeful.

I’ve been fighting massively with depression the last two months. It’s still there. Depression never really goes away. It’s a lot like an addiction. However, the past few days there’s been light. It’s like being in a lake with weights and you’re swimming as hard as you can, and you can see the sun. You can see the surface.

You have two choices.

Give up. Let the weights drag you down to the bottom of the lake. Not necessarily suicide. Self-pity, despair, hopelessness. This is easy to do, even though it hurts so badly. This is the default setting.

The other choice is to find purpose and struggle up to the top. Shed the weights, though it’s so difficult. Reach up, kick your legs, be a bad ass, and reach the surface. Breathe in the air. The struggle never stops. You keep wading water. Yet at least for a while you can breathe.

For whatever reason I’ve become more and more motivated to workout. I think it’s God pushing me because He’s pretty awesome. At every step there are more reasons I want to workout, and with the weather being tolerable, I think I might go for a run. I stretched tonight. From there, I’ll find a workout routine. I’ve been researching a few the past week.

Depression has also been smothering my writing. It’s made it difficult, stagnant, and uninspired. I watched some good wuxu tonight (part of the workout kick), and it inspired me. It was beautiful, majestic, and mystical, a combination few cultures convey as well as China.

I hope your struggle with depression is going well. I hope you’re still struggling. If you’re in a funk, I hope you rest up just long enough to fight again. Much love to you and your struggles. You have a purpose, hang onto that, even if you can’t tell what the purpose is. I promise you have one.